On Par With Why Is There Air?

43 years ago Bill Cosby released a comedy album called, Why is There Air?

The question comes from the first cut on the album where Cosby talks about the simplistic basic questions little kids ask.

As I slide past “Middle Age” into the stage where I qualify for the “Senior” menu at restaurants but not old enough for the discount at movie theaters, I too still have basic questions about the world that have gone unanswered these many years.

Like … Where do Republicans come from? It’s actually a two-parter. The follow-up is: And How Do You Deal With These People?

I’ve endured eleven administrations, six of them Republican. I don’t think of myself as a Democrat but every four years since I was eligible to vote, I voted for the Democratic candidate. The reason has always been the same:

The Republican Candidates have always been the worst possible choice.

To vote for Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush One, Dole, or Bush Two, I’d have to somehow “forget” what these candidates represented, and then vote against my own interests. I’d pretty much be the literal definition of Non compos mentis: Not in control of my mind.

Now I’m not saying that everybody that voted for the Republicans over the last 36 years is certifiable … that would be an incredibly inaccurate generalization. The mean, selfish, greedy, and amoral richest people in America would be out of their mean, selfish, greedy, and amoral minds not to have voted Republican. The top 2% have made out pretty well by voting their interests. But since Nixon, Reagan, and both Bushes wouldn’t have made it into office by only relying on the tippy-top two percent … how did they convince anybody else to vote for them?

During my lifetime the Republican Party has had a virtual lock on four voting blocs:

Amoral Corporate America
Crazy People
Stupid People
And Crazy People Who Are Stupid

I’m only concerned with the last three groups that I’ll combine under one classification: The Crazy Stupid People. After 9/11 the Republican Leadership, with the collaboration of The MainStreamMedia, swelled the Republican base by creating The “Scared Silly” vote which has since been absorbed into the larger Crazy Stupid People voting bloc.

Jesus supposedly said, “The Poor will always be with us.” The Crazy Stupid People have always been with us too but it wasn’t until 40 years ago that Pat Buchanan and Richard Nixon specifically set out to capture the Crazy Stupid Vote as part of the winning strategy to take the White House. Republicans have been using the “Southern Strategy” ever since.


In American politics, the Southern strategy refers to a Republican method of carrying Southern states in the latter decades of the 20th century and first decade of the 21st century by exploiting racism among white voters.

What sort of benchmarks can we use to determine How Many Crazy Stupid People Are There? Luckily this problem has already been answered by The Gallup Organization which has been keeping track of Crazy Stupid People for years.

Gallup asked Americans this three-part question about the origin of humans seven times over the last 26 years:

Which comes closest to your views?

1. Humans developed over millions of years, God guided.
2. Humans developed over millions of years, God had no part.
3. God created humans, as is, within the last 10,000 years.

The results of this poll changed very little over the years. Between 43% and 47% of Americans have stated during this 26-year time period that God created human beings in their present form within the last 10,000 years.

Now regardless of one’s position in life, whether a dean at a University or a hamburger flipper at a fast food joint, if you believe God created man six days after he created everything else 10,000 years ago … you’re either dumber than a 4.5 billion year old rock or nuttier n’ a fruitcake.

And guess what? Not only do almost half of all Americans believe this nonsense … 60% of those Americans are Republicans.

In 1964 Barry Goldwater was the Republican candidate running against Lyndon Johnson. Goldwater said, “I could have ended the war in a month. I could have made North Vietnam look like a mud puddle.”

The United States set up a puppet government and then invaded and waged an illegal war against the Vietnamese slaughtering millions of people. But this “leader” of the Modern Conservative Movement, by his own words, would have killed millions more. And today he is viewed as a “Moderate” Republican … by other Republicans. I always thought of him as a really really scary dude but not so much over the last ten years because he’s dead.

Goldwater lost in a landslide in 1964 because there just weren’t enough Crazy Stupid People. But over the last 44 years The Fairness Doctrine was axed, Limbaugh and his clones are on the radio, and FOX News spreads lies 24/7. The Crazy Stupid People numbers have grown until now they are A Force To Be Reckoned With.

This explains why Barack Obama has been recently soliciting the Crazy Stupid People Vote. Though millions of liberal/progressive Americans carried him over the finish line during the primaries, “Conventional Political Wisdom,” whatever the hell that is, dictates he needs a certain percentage of Crazy Stupid People votes to put him over the top in November. So … Obama has gone a courtin’.

By the way … it’s not only FOX that cranks out the disinformation. The MainStreamMedia guarantees a growing supply of Stupid People by steadfastly not reporting the news we need in order to be informed voters. And to make matters worse … every four years they focus on the Craziest Dumbest Americans they can find. A Voting Bloc they say could determine the fate of the electionThe Undecided Voters.

Incidentally … I think I’ve solved the second part of the basic question: How Do You Deal With These People?

I shun them.

I don’t talk to Crazy Stupid People. They don’t use … logic. I don’t know how to talk to someone who has an irrational idea firmly cemented in their head.

I guess the real question is: How do you inform people against their will?

I’m not saying it’s impossible … I’ve just never seen it done.

In 1964 one of the worst movies ever made was released called The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. An apt description if there ever was one of the base of The Republican Party.

It is absolutely vital we overcome the Crazy Stupid People Zombie Vote this November to avoid living the tagline of another Zombie opus: George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead

When there is no more room in Hell … The Dead Will Walk The Earth.

I just can’t hang with those guys.

On Par With Why Is There Air? July 18, 2008


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