The Amazing Criswell Predicts
Trump Loses Presidential Bid! Scratch that … Trump Takes a Dive!
Broadcast on The Mike Malloy Show March 4, 2016. And … I Was Completely, Absolutely, Overwhelmingly, WRONG.
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Below is an excerpt. To read the rest of the words go here: Permalink:
As we’ve seen lately The Republican Establishment is going full-bore-batshit trying to derail the guy that’s swamping the other Republicans in the polls. I think it’s awesome … for a couple of reasons.
First, because it’s never happened before. I think it’s always a good idea to pay particular attention to something That Has Never Happened Before. Who knows if it will ever happen again? This might truly be a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Who’d want to miss out on that?
The previous Republican candidate for president took a chainsaw to the current Republican front-runner, and begged whoever was watching, to vote for anybody but the most successful challenger in the current race for the White House. It was like watching Olympic gold medal winners Mark Spitz or Michael Phelps jump in the pool and try to drown the leading American contender in the middle of the race. I’ll have to change my epithet — it’s abso-fuckin’-lutely awesome.
Second, regardless of what happens next, the Republican party is going to end up looking like a recombinant DNA experiment gone horribly awry. They’ll obviously have to change their name from GOP to … to … um … What do you call something that has one toothless gaping mouth and millions of assholes? Beats me.
But that’s just the show on TV. To delve deeper into mist of confusion I’ll have to channel the always amusing but dead Amazing Criswell.
At first the crystal ball is dark and murky … but slowly … slowly … it’s becoming clear now … I see … I see … Money. Piles and piles of money. And all the Republican candidates are stuffing it into their pants as fast as they can.
The Amazing Criswell Predicts.