A couple of days ago I was Googling around trying to find out if the phrase Fucko the Clown had been used by anyone before Stephen King used it in his book, Insomnia, published in 1994. I didn’t find anything predating King but I did find a video on the Mike Malloy Vimeo Channel of the old “moment” when I first started using the name Fucko the Clown. Then I found this tweet from Stephen King.

And all that led to …


I sent the original version of this to The Mike Malloy Show on October 15, 2016.

Say Goodnight Gracie, Part III

I happened to listen to it a couple of nights ago and realized if I changed a couple of words here and there it was still applicable. Hillary Clinton as the Zombie Queen … presto change-oh and Joe Biden is The Zombie King. Fucko the Clown is always Fucko the Clown.

I couldn’t make this a complete update because then I’d have to shoehorn in every godawful fucking thing Fucko has done since consuming (yeah … I meant to say that) the office of the presidency. Before the Covid-19 pandemic I thought the worst things Fuck had done was to rip immigrant families apart and put their children into concentration camps.

I still think that’s the worst thing he has done.

But sharing that first place position is how he, his administration, and Republicans everywhere, have done their damnedest to ensure the Covid-19 pandemic infects and kills as many Americans as possible.

I can’t get into the details because that would derail this rewritten “moment” and I’d just end up saying what I’ve been saying over and over and over again for the last 4 years. Fucko the Clown, his handlers and minions, and Republicans everywhere … are a fucking death cult. And in 89 days there is a slim chance that it’s possible to begin to climb out of the abyss. But now … onto the rewrite.


It appears that unless the Universe has a couple of extra tricks up its sleeve we’re witnessing the last few months of president Fucko the Clown. As of today, Thursday August 6th, there are 89 days remaining until the election. Is it possible that Fucko could do or say anything that could salvage his flailing campaign? Are there enough Fucko supporters in swing states to stop a Biden win? I don’t think so. But then again … this is a presidential campaign the likes of which we have never seen. The American voters – Republicans and Democrats – have been played. Not like a violin … more like a kazoo. And the tune, eerily reminiscent of Pop Goes the Weasel, goes something like this:

There is an Orange Monster, with deplorable minions, ruling the shining city upon a hill. This beast, who had lived his entire life in ostentatiously bestial ways, has been shown to not give a shit about how many of his citizens sicken and die from a raging plague (surprise, surprise). Outraged citizens of the shining city were co-opted into choosing the previous vice-president and former Senator from Master Card, The Zombie King, as their leader to battle the beast.

And everything turned to shit. The End.

Here’s another old tune I can’t get out of my head … it didn’t have to end this way.

Click over to Google and type in “Donald Trump Mafia” and in point five three seconds you’ll get about 759,000 articles. Then type in “Trump University” and in point four nine seconds you’ll get about 1,560,000 articles. Now ask yourself this simple question:

Why The Fuck didn’t mainstream media repeatedly beat Fucko like a gong with the sleazy facts about Fucko University starting the moment after he announced his candidacy on June 16, 2015? If the Nightly News Team did their goddamn job IN 2015, even the most die-hard Fucko supporters might have jumped ship if they were shown how Fucko University was designed to fleece the poor rubes out of their food and rent money.

Any idiot with an Internet connection could cut and paste these Googled facts into a damning expose’ so Why The Fuck didn’t the cavalry charge of Republican candidates and the media use this material to blast Fucko into oblivion in the first few minutes of the first Republican primary debate YEARS ago?

The completely unsatisfying answer is … because the Republican candidates … and the media … didn’t.

The media were making too much money from the eyeballs flocking to their television sets to watch the latest Fucko news. And the Republican candidates? Why didn’t they unmask him? None of those assholes were qualified to be president but shining a light on Fucko’s sordid inadequacies could expose their own. So they didn’t fire the gun that might blow their own feet off. That’s my guess anyway. Who the hell knows what’s lurking in the brain of a money-mad Republican lusting to live in the White House?

But here we all are 89 days away from the election and Fucko’s lack of leadership in the face of a fucking pandemic is the primary reason 4.83 million Americans were sickened and 159 thousand so far have died from it.

But Fucko’s supporters, the racist, xenophobic, misogynist, science-hating morons, have been trained to vote for anyone as long as that candidate is a Republican. They will vote for Fucko despite the ridiculously horrific things he has done or said. And then there are people who will vote for Fucko because of the things he has done and said. Is this a winning combination? Maybe … maybe not.

We wouldn’t be discussing this if the Democratic Donor Class had not stolen the nomination from Bernie Sanders … again. Sanders always had the poll numbers to crush Fucko. But nothing was going to get in the way of the DNC and the Democratic Donor Class’ quest for The White House. Nothing. Including the will of the people.

For the longest time the focus of politics has shifted from “What is Right?” to “Who is Right?” There is no substance. There is only image. And right now Fucko’s image is losing ground as the Zombie King gains the advantage. Will this be enough to carry the former vice president and Senator from Master Card over The Finish Line? Maybe … maybe not.

At this juncture, what does the television machine and The Internet tell us? What do we know?

We know Fucko the Clown is a multiple-bankrupted, unscrupulous, psychopathic, narcissistic shithead who has used the presidency to enrich himself and the Donor Class. And that is the least of his crimes.

One thousand Americans die from the Covid-19 virus Every. Fucking. Day.

Well over fifty thousand Americans contract the virus Every. Fucking. Day.

All because Fucko and his goddamned son-in-law initially thought the virus would primarily attack Blue States. It was politically advantageous to kill off the people living in Blue States so Fucko could blame Democratic governors. So the government DID NOTHING. Fucko committed a crime against humanity because it was politically expedient.

In comparison, the Zombie King is a shining example … a fucking beacon of … not being Fucko the Clown. And for that reason alone he has my vote.

If all works well, the citizens of the shining city upon the hill will be saved from the beast. But the rot that continually eats away at the foundations of the shining city will not be stopped by a superficial change at the top. All that would have been accomplished by the Fucko the Clown versus the Zombie King contest is that the stage is set for the next, smarter, demagogue.

And everything turned to shit. The End.

ReWrite – August 6, 2020


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